Showing posts with label Question Maker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Question Maker. Show all posts

The Snarky Question-Maker gives an Introduction to my Blog

Hey y'all. How goes it?

I thought since we have a few new visitors (Hi! new people!) today could be an introduction post. So I've awakened that sleeping giant, the great Question-Maker (who lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars) to interview me.

Question-Maker: yawn, stretch, crick. "Hey, every- whoa. A lotta new faces around here. What happened?"

me: "Well, dear Question-Maker-"

QM: "That's Mr. Question-Maker to you."

me: "But we've known each other for years! We should be on a first name basis. What do you call me?"

QM: "A nickname I only use on special occasions."

me: "What occasions?"

QM: "Right after you've left a room." snort
me: "..."

QM: "..."

me: "Okay, so we have some new faces I think because of the EVERNEATH cover reveal, and I think because of the ARC."

QM: "What's an ARC?"

me: "An Advanced Reader Copy of my book. I got them last week. Wanna see a pic?
The cover makes my hand look even uglier.
I love it so much."

QM: "You know the rule about loving your ARC?"

me: "No."

QM: "You can love your ARC, just don't love your ARC."

me: "I would never-"

QM: "That means no petting."

me: "Dang!"

QM: "So, for the new people around here (and I really don't know why they would want to spend time here)-"

me: "Stop with the asides!"

QM: "Sorry, that was supposed to be an internal aside. So, for the new people - and welcome, you smart people - tell us a little about your blog."

me: "Okay. I blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I blog about writing and books, but even more I blog about random stuff."

QM: "Like that time you got stuck in a bathroom on Venice Beach?" snicker snicker

me: "... and I blog about other things too."
QM: "Like that time you shouted 'belly boobs!' to an elevator full of strangers?"

me: "That was not my fault! ... It was the fault of the shirt I was wearing."

QM: "I think those are great examples about what you can expect on the blog."
me: "I also blog about this guy a lot:"
Rafa Nadal, celebrating right after he heard he would be featured on my blog.
"He's playing in the quarterfinals of Wimbledon today."

QM: "What's Wimbledon?"

me: "It's only like the most important tennis tournament in the world."

QM: "What's tennis?"

me: "Seriously, do you even read my blog?"

QM: "I thought you already knew the answer to that question."

me: "And... that's it for the Question Maker! Thank you for your help."

QM: "I'm not done yet-"

me: "Thanks so much for stopping by!"

QM: "But I still have more-"

me: "Have I described Rafa's hip dents to you lately?"
They are defined, and pointy.

QM: "You're right. Look at the time. See y'all next time!"

Okay, so that was the Question Maker! If you would like to run a question through the Question-Maker, and have me answer it, you can leave it in the comments.

And if you're new here, take a moment. Introduce yourself. We're very nice around here, and we only bite on special occasions. Like Tuesdays.

I'll even give you a question form you can use:
1. Name
2. A little bit about yourself
3. How would you describe Rafa's hip dents?

Questions from the Question-Maker, and your chance to BE the Question-Maker

It's that time of the month again... when we travel to the void between the mountain and the rainbow and wake that sleeping giant known as the Question-Maker.

Questions from the Question-Maker

QM: *Yawn... stretch* Hey y'all. It's great to be back. Let's get down to business. *cracks knuckles* So, B-Dawg, how are your copyedits going?

I'm glad you asked! They're going great. In fact, I turned them in yesterday. 

QM: I know you thought your book was perfect before... did the copyeditor find any problems? Or did she just fill the pages with smiley-faces and praises of your work?

Well, I didn't think it was perfect, but there was this one thing she caught that was sort of embarrassing. About halfway through the book, the main character has a dream, and then about four chapters later, she had the same dream. Exact same dream. Word for word.

I felt like a dork. I mean, I've read the thing 485 times.

QM: Hmmm... Lately your low self-esteem seems to be good common sense. 

Hey! At least my pljues never dribbied.

QM: Moving on. What happens now? 

I work on Book 2, and wait for ARCs to be printed.

QM: For those of us not fluent in publishing-speak, what are ARCs? 

They are Advanced Release Copies, also known as Bound Galleys or just Galleys. It's where the publisher prints the book in paperback form, cover and all, and then sends it out to reviewers and book bloggers and such. 

QM: Who is "such"?

It's a colloquialism weak writers use as a crutch. 

QM: How very telling. When are these so-called ARC's due to hit the universe?

In a month or two. *does a little freak-out dance that's sort of a mix between the Rumba and Mexican Hat Dance*

QM: So, in a month, your life's creative work will available for people to praise... or trash?

Um... yes *Mexican Hat Dance turns into the Sink-to-the-floor-and-Shiver Tango*
But it's okay, because I have my rebuttal planned for any reviewer who fails to see my genius.

QM: Erm... see, that's probably not the smartest way to respond to negative reviews-

Oh yeah, Question-Maker? You can stick your smart where the sun don't shine, and then blow it out your pie-hole! (See? Awesome example of a reasonable rebuttal. How can it go wrong?)

QM: You're right. It can't go wrong. Rebut away.

I'll rebut your butt off.

QM: How eloquent. I'm audi 5000. See y'all next month!

So, dear blog readers, would you like a chance to be the question maker for a day? Have I got an opportunity for you! 

I am getting together with two other awesome authors (Bree Despain and Emily Wing Smith) for some vlog action. We will be filming short videocasts (?) (I'm not quite down with the lingo yet) where we answer questions about publishing! 

You can ask about anything: 
Querying, getting agents, submission, writing, anything!

So, do you have a question? You can leave it in the comments. Please ask a question. Pretty please? Otherwise, we will resort to filming a vlog about the best way to extract belly-button lint. (Don't worry, we'll film this no matter what).

If you don't have a question, you can just tell me what you're up to this weekend. But I will like you better if you have a question. 

Questions with the Question-Maker: My New Computer and My Latest Revisions

It's been a while since we've had a visit from the snarky question maker, so I've invited him here today. 


Since he lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars, it was difficult to get him a message, but I managed to secure myself an owl with the head of a unicorn, and as everyone knows, the owlcorn can fly to the edge of the void and then use his spiky horn to break through. 


No, I haven't been sleeping much. Why do you ask?


Anyway, moving on to the Q&A transcript.


Question-Maker: Hey, Bro. It's good to be back. 


me: Good to have you back.


QM: Lemme go over my notes here... see what I've missed... whoa wait. It says here you got a new fish?


me: Yes.
Shadow: little does he know he's almost dead.
QM: Why do you hate fish so much? 


me: This time it will be different! How hard can it be to keep a Betta Fish alive?


QM: That's what you said five fish ago. 


me: It's Sam's fault. Moving on.


QM: Let's see... You got a new computer?


me: Yes. Her name is Pink. Here's her baby picture.
Pink. Yes, my study is always that messy.


QM: How do you know your computer's a girl?


me: Because when she was lost, she asked for directions. (snicker snicker)


QM: You're still cracking yourself up, I see. Did you know you're like the 6 billionth person to tell that joke?


me: There are only six billion people on the planet.


QM: Exactly. Moving on. You just finished your 4th round of revisions. Isn't that, like, a lot? 


me: I don't know. I've never done this before. But it's okay, because there's just one more line revision, and then it's off to copyedits!


QM: And then it will be done?


me: Um, no. Then there are the first pass pages. 


QM: And THEN it's done?


me: Um, I don't know. I think there might be second pass pages.


QM (pauses): Are you making up this whole "publishing dream" thing? I mean, next year are you going to be telling us you're on the 92nd pass pages?


me: No! It will one day be a book. I swear! Just ask the Germans. They recently had an auction for my book! 


QM: Ah. Herzlichen Glückwunsch!


me: Hals- und Beinbruch! 


QM: Did you just tell me to go break my arm and my leg? 

me: *crickets*

QM: Try to acquire a little German before you offend a nation.

me: I once acquired a little German. He was awesome.

QM: Where's my unicowl? I think I'm ready to leave.

me: He prefers owlcorn, just so you know...

Ah, it's always a treat (and a blow to the ego) to have the question-maker. So, what did y'all do over the weekend? Anyone have fun Valentine's plans? Anyone have questions to add to the question-maker? 

One last thing... Happy Valentine's Day! Will you (yes, you) be my Valentine?

Questions from the Question-Maker. Topic, Revisions

Remember a little over a month ago, when I decided to make Mondays official Question-Maker posts? And I was so proud of myself for making a weekly blog feature? And then I did it once, and promptly forgot?

Today is Redemption Day. 

Questions from the Question-Maker

QM: It's good to be back, finally. Of all the authors in all the bars in all the world, why'd I have to end up with this one?

me: Moving on.

QM: Okay, let's have a looksie. Hmmmm. Here we go. Topic is, revision letters. Do you really have your husband read the letter first?

me: Yes. Trust me, it softens the blow. Like jumping off a building and hitting a few branches on the way down to the ground... anything to lessen the impact with the cement. 

QM: Does your editor know you just likened her revision letters to having your bones shattered by diving head first into a slab of cement going at terminal velocity?

me: You're twisting my words.

QM: Hmmm... Do you ever think that your editor's revision letters mean she doesn't love your book?

me: It might be tempting to think that, but my editor sends me these letters because she loves the book. 

QM: Is that what you tell yourself?
me: Yes.

QM: What's the hardest part about this next round of revisions?

me: My editor wants me to up the romance factor, but I'm not very good at showing my character's true feelings. It all goes back to high school, where they guy I crushed on for three years never knew I existed, because the way I showed my feelings was to follow these two rules.

1. Never talk to him.
2. Never be in the same room as him.

You can probably see it wouldn't work in a novel, for the main love interests to never actually interact. Any advice for me?

QM: I've upped my romance factor, so up yours.

me: Hilarious. 

QM: When are your revisions due?
me: December 22nd. 

QM: So, we can expect the quality of your blog posts to... um... hit the crapper.

me: Hey! Watch the language.

QM: Moving on to the other question you've been getting, Brrrrrr... What's that chill in here? Oh yeah. It's your blog. Could it be any more sterile and cold?

me: Yes, it could.

QM: I mean, at the top, you have a big block of - what is that, ice? 

me: No, it's broken glass.

QM: And then the rest of it... tsk tsk. Did you find your decorating ideas in the Hospital Equipment Catalog? Better Homes and O-R's?

me: Look, I'm not a blog designer. My last blog design was making me feel claustrophobic, and slightly allergic, considering all the flowers. I had to get out because it was making me itch. Any advice?

QM: I've upped my meds, so...

me: Bite me.

So, blog readers, do you have any questions for me? I'm going to make a FAQ section of the blog, and contributions would be appreciated! Or, you can just tell me about any holiday shopping deals you've seen. Or, what you did over the weekend. Or anything. Open mic.

Weekly Questions from the Question-Maker: Where do I get my Ideas? And more!

Good Monday, yo.
It's a cold, rainy day today, and the mountain right outside my house is covered in snow.
Perfect day to curl up with a good book. Too bad I'll be working on revisions.
ON TO THE POST:
Anytime I get asked the same questions over and over, I like to include them on the blog. So, maybe this will be a Monday feature or something. 

BAM! Just like that, I have a weekly feature. Blogs are magical! I say it at home, in my kitchen, and it becomes so. 

Time for our first weekly...

MONDAY, AT HOME, WITH THE QUESTION-MAKER:

QM: Where do you get your ideas?

This is, probably, by far the most common question I've gotten, and I know other authors get asked it a billion times, a billion different ways.

My favorite way the question has been asked comes from my mother-in-law right after she finished reading my book:

"I had no idea what's been going on in that head of yours!"

Okay, so it's not a question, but anywho... I thought I'd answer it here.

My book is partially based on a few myths, namely Persephone and then Orpheus and Eurydice. It's okay if you don't know anything about these myths, because I didn't set out to write a book based on myths.

I started my book because I had a scene in my head: A girl, who has just returned to her high school after a 4 month absence. She's completely changed, barely recognizable, a shell of her former self. Nobody knows where she's been, not even the boy she left behind.

So, what is that first day back like? Is there someone at the school she's dying to see again? And most importantly, where had she been that would completely destroy her like that?

I'll admit, I wrote a good portion of the book before I had any of the answers, especially about where she'd been.  It was only then that I knew this story was based on the myth of Persephone. 

This might be a backward way to approach a book, but I can't sit down at the computer and go, "Okay, so I like the Persephone myth... How can I apply that to a contemporary high school setting?" Because then there'd be no element of surprise, no passion behind the book.
QM: Are all the answers going to be that long?

No. 

QM: You're in the middle of revisions. What if your editor wants you to change something that you don't want to change? Can she make you?

She can't make me. But the guys with the guns she sends to my house can make me. 

The way I view editorial suggestions/changes is this: Even if I don't agree with the suggestion, it's still a sign that there is a problem there that needs to be addressed. 

It will never go like this:

Editor: "I'm not sure the father, who is the mayor of the town, would really sign up for a pole-dancing class... It seems a little out of character."

Me: "But I know a guy who did that! That part of the story is integral to the entire plot!!! It has to stay! Plus, it came to me in a dream, and my dreams are always prophetic!!!!!!!"

* Side note: just because something happened in real life doesn't mean it will sound authentic in a book. Real life is always stranger than fiction.

If I didn't agree, my response would be more something like this:

"It's important that the father pole-dance. What if I add something about how his own mother was a world-famous pole-dance instructor? And he promised her on her death bed he would carry on the tradition?"

My editor says her revision notes are just jumping off points to get the discussion going. I love my editor.

QM: I thought you promised no more long answers?

Then ask simpler questions.
QM: Okay, time to dumb it down for the lady of the house. Where in your house do you write?

My kitchen. Unless I'm deep in revisions, then I take it to the bedroom. (Sorry, TMI). 

QM: Have you ever seen The $20,000 Pyramid?
Yes.

QM: The Shuttle launch.

Midnight on New Year's Eve.

An egg timer.

Things you count down!!! Things you count down!!!!

QM: Congratulations?

Thanks! What do I win? What do I win?

---

Question-Maker? Are you there?

Question-Maker?

Okay, so the QM has gone home. (In case you're wondering, the QM lives in the space between Rainbows and Comets. Third house on the left.)

So, what did all y'all do over the weekend?