Questions with the Question-Maker: My New Computer and My Latest Revisions

It's been a while since we've had a visit from the snarky question maker, so I've invited him here today. 

Since he lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars, it was difficult to get him a message, but I managed to secure myself an owl with the head of a unicorn, and as everyone knows, the owlcorn can fly to the edge of the void and then use his spiky horn to break through. 

No, I haven't been sleeping much. Why do you ask?

Anyway, moving on to the Q&A transcript.

Question-Maker: Hey, Bro. It's good to be back. 

me: Good to have you back.

QM: Lemme go over my notes here... see what I've missed... whoa wait. It says here you got a new fish?

me: Yes.
Shadow: little does he know he's almost dead.
QM: Why do you hate fish so much? 

me: This time it will be different! How hard can it be to keep a Betta Fish alive?

QM: That's what you said five fish ago. 

me: It's Sam's fault. Moving on.

QM: Let's see... You got a new computer?

me: Yes. Her name is Pink. Here's her baby picture.
Pink. Yes, my study is always that messy.

QM: How do you know your computer's a girl?

me: Because when she was lost, she asked for directions. (snicker snicker)

QM: You're still cracking yourself up, I see. Did you know you're like the 6 billionth person to tell that joke?

me: There are only six billion people on the planet.

QM: Exactly. Moving on. You just finished your 4th round of revisions. Isn't that, like, a lot? 

me: I don't know. I've never done this before. But it's okay, because there's just one more line revision, and then it's off to copyedits!

QM: And then it will be done?

me: Um, no. Then there are the first pass pages. 

QM: And THEN it's done?

me: Um, I don't know. I think there might be second pass pages.

QM (pauses): Are you making up this whole "publishing dream" thing? I mean, next year are you going to be telling us you're on the 92nd pass pages?

me: No! It will one day be a book. I swear! Just ask the Germans. They recently had an auction for my book! 

QM: Ah. Herzlichen Glückwunsch!

me: Hals- und Beinbruch! 

QM: Did you just tell me to go break my arm and my leg? 

me: *crickets*

QM: Try to acquire a little German before you offend a nation.

me: I once acquired a little German. He was awesome.

QM: Where's my unicowl? I think I'm ready to leave.

me: He prefers owlcorn, just so you know...

Ah, it's always a treat (and a blow to the ego) to have the question-maker. So, what did y'all do over the weekend? Anyone have fun Valentine's plans? Anyone have questions to add to the question-maker? 

One last thing... Happy Valentine's Day! Will you (yes, you) be my Valentine?