Sam's Big Lie, and the Worst Example of a Good Samaritan Ever

Housekeeping: I know that some of you (patients and friends and family) are specifically looking for updates on my dad. My mom is posting again on her blog here: Any and all are welcome to check in there. Her posts are usually very entertaining. Because cancer is fun. 

On to the post! 

So, the other day, Sam loses his phone. At Costco. 

He takes the kids back to the store and scours the aisles. No luck.
Like finding a needle in a Costco.

He checks with the front. No phone turned in. 

He calls AT&T, and the guy says he can shut down Sam's phone, but he can't locate it. But he does tell Sam that somebody made a call from that phone mere minutes ago. 


It was not lost. It was stolen! 

So, Sam uses his mad tech skillz to track down the number that his lost phone called. (Okay, he really just looked at his account). 

And here's where Sam is completely different than me.

He calls that number (the one his stolen phone called). 

Sam: "Hi, I'm calling because I lost my phone, and the person who now has my phone called you."

Guy (groggily): "Huh?"

Sam: "Someone called you at 12:47. That person has my phone."

Stoner guy: "I don't know what you're talking about, dude."

*Repeat above conversation 12 times*

Finally, Sam pulls out the biggest lie he can think of.

Sam: "I hate to tell you this, but I'm kind of important."

Stoner guy: "Yeah?"

Sam: "Yeah. I'm kind of a big shot. And I need my phone. The phone company is tracking it right now, not to mention the police. So I just wanted to let you know that if I have your number, so do they, and they will be contacting you in the next little while, asking you the same questions."

Stoner guy: "Why? I don't know anything!"

Sam: "I'm sure you had nothing to do with it. But they will be checking here, since you're their only lead. So you have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky? Punk?"

Okay, I embellished the last sentence. But, miraculously, an hour later, the AT&T store in American Fork called to say Sam's phone had been turned in. The guy who brought it in said he found it in a chair at Costco.

When I picked it up, the guy at the AT&T store is all, "Wow. We love customers who are honest and turn in lost phones. Like the Good Samaritan. We should send this guy an email, thanking him." Then he gave me a look that said, Maybe you should give him a reward.

me: "Sure you do that. Thank the guy for finding it in a chair at a Costco in Salt Lake City, and instead of turning it in at the Costco, he drives 45 minutes south, to American Fork, to turn it in at an AT&T store, five hours later."
The right, and convenient thing to do.
me: "So, yeah, if the "good samaritan" is the story of a samaritan who beat a guy up, left him in the street to die, and only when he realized there were witnesses did he turn around and help the guy to the hospital, then yeah, he's totally a good samaritan." 

AT&T guy: "Oh. So, you're saying he only turned it in because he got caught?"

me: Ding Ding Ding Ding!

Because the last thing the guy who stole Sam's phone needs is a thank you note! and Money!

What I find the funniest is that Sam's phone is sort of crappy. I mean, it's an iPhone, but it's four years old, beat up, and cracked. And apparently, that's the phone of someone who is "kind of important." 
This is Bill Gates' phone. He's sort of a big shot.
What do you guys think? Do you believe the guy found it at a Costco and drove it all the way to American Fork five hours later to turn it in? Or do you think he got scared that he'd get caught?