What NOT to Say as an Introductory Tweet, Apparently

So, after the book deal was announced, my critique partner Bree Despain sent out a Tweet, telling her followers to follow me. She must be very powerful, because immediately I got like a hundred new followers. Bree said something like, "You'll love her. She's hilarious."

That made me nervous. I had all these new followers, and now Bree was promising them I'd be hilarious. I never feel unfunnier (less funny?) than when someone says stuff like that.  I felt like the new people were sitting around, watching Twitter, going, "Okay, Brodi, do something funny."

*Side note: I've typed "funny" so many times now, that it's starting to not look like a real word, but more an amalgam of "fluffy bunny".

So, just to give people a taste of what it will really be like to follow me, I sent this tweet:

Wow. Lot's of new followers. Hi! Here's an introductory tweet: I have a strange zit on my bellybutton. Who knew that was even possible?

I think I instantly lost 50 of the new followers, (one even tweeted about how bellybuttons make her uncomfortable, and I'm thinking, "Why? At least 99% of people have them. The uncomfortable part should be that there's a zit on the bellybutton, not the button itself.") and Bree sent a follow-up tweet:  

I send you new followers and you start tweeting about bellybutton zits???

*added: she also added "That's why I love you."

The truth is, I didn't want anyone's expectations to be too high. I thought my tweet was a typical example of what I have in the brains, and a good chance to say, "If you like the tweet, there's more where that came from. If not, get out now."

Because if there's anything I truly hate, it's failing to meet expectations. So let's lower that bar, people. You know the saying, "Aim for the stars. You're bound to hit the moon." Let's amend that to "Aim for the roof of my house. Perhaps even the tops of the trees. Hope we don't get caught in the branches. Then we can be pleasantly surprised if we clear the trees."

Who's with me? May I please have a holler? (I can't speak street, let alone type it.)

I had a great time at Matt Kirby's book launch last night. I'll give a full report of the event on Monday. (But I'd appreciate it if you'd only expect half a report, and then you can be pleasantly surprised when I post the full one.)

What are y'all up to this weekend? I've got soccer games up to my ears, and then my mom's making soup. Mmmmmm.....