: First off, a big thank you to Sydney Salter for her author interview. She rocks!
: For those of you wanting to enter the contest to win James Dashner's autographed The Thirteenth Reality, you have until the end of this week to bring a new follower. And if you've brought a new follower, let me know via comment or email.Random thing: Anyone else still have nightmare's about Dr. Seuss's Thing 1 and Thing 2? It was like a horror novel for me as a kid.
Can only be the products of a twisted mind.
Actual Blog PostOne of my favorite radio programs is Radio From Hell on X96 in the mornings. On Wednesdays they do a list of "Things that must go". I shall copy them forthwith, but in the interest of fair balance, I shall include one thing that must stay for every thing that must go. Fun, huh? And so hopeful.My list of things that must go (and stay):Thing that must go:1. People who try to find the meaning of life in the random "word verification" word thingie. Make fun of it, fine. Create a funny definition of it, great. But it's not a horoscope or anything. It will not guide you toward your destiny, young grasshopper.My word verification for some random site today was "broscle". There is no deeper meaning, I promise. This does not mean "Brodi will turn into a popsicle" or "brothers dig bicycles" or any other words of wisdom. As a side note, nobody really wants to hear about your word verification word either. Thing that must stay:1. Dorien's homemade jam. (This is not a hint, Dorien. The fact that I'm out should have no bearing on this conversation.) Thing that must go: 2. Extra charges in a hotel for another adult in the room. Seriously, what difference does it make if there are two people compared to three? What if I promise to bring my own toilet paper? Can I avoid the $35 extra charge? Thing that must stay:2. The new Star Trek movie. (George Lucas should have hired J.J. Abrams). Thing that must go: 3. Airport regulations about 3 ounces of liquid. If my 3.5 ounce tube of lotion gets confiscated one more time, I swear, I'm gonna blog about it instead of simply getting a smaller tube. I like to do things the hard (idiotic) way.Thing that must stay:3. The word "Frak". Frak yes! Thing that must go: 4. People that target their tennis overheads to smash the ball into my ankle at 130 miles per hour. (Sorry, Kenny, but you had no excuse. Especially when you did it the second time. Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, you make the blog-o-shame. I double-dork dare you to go for three.)Thing that must stay:4. Friends who read between the lines of your comment on their blog, surmise you are in a bad mood, and ping you immediately to offer encouragement. (Thanks, Emily). Thing that must go:5. Tee Ball. The kids are 5 and 6 years old. The games are interminably long, because there are no outs. No Outs! Please someone hit me with a bat now. Thing that must stay:5. Coaches for T-ball. Saints, all of them. Thing that must go: 6. Hardcore "Trekkies" wanting to be called "Trekkers".Do you really think a name change will make you less of a dork? Embrace your trekkieness, you nerds. I mean, you Trekkies. "Trekker" is someone who explores the Amazon, and gets the girl. "Trekkie" is someone who explores the nuances of Kirk vs. Piccard, and by the middle of the conversation, any girls who were once in the vicinity are now gone. Thing that must stay:6. Caffeine. Ah, my only love, sprung from my only hate. I know, it makes no sense to me either. I wish I knew how to quit you. Thing that must go:7. Allergy season. Flowers, gardening, and that frakkin' sun. They're all mocking me. There's me, chillin' in my garden again.
Thing that must stay:7. Blog commenters. Yay! You are appreciated. Thing that must go:8. The economy. All of it.Let's just get rid of it and start over. Blank slate. No questions asked. We'll even call it something different this time. Like "Shmeconomy". Hey, spell check didn't catch that. Is shmeconomy already a word? Crazy.We can even change the slogan to, "It's the shmeconomy, dumb-arse." Totally rolls off the tongue.Thing that must stay:8. Nitrous Oxide. (A.K.A. Dentist Magic.) Yummmmm. Me and you, now and forever, baby. If only I could get a stinkin' cavity. Curses my manic oral hygiene!Thing that must go:9. That bloated feeling.Thing that must stay:9. I'm running out of things that must stay. Umm, how about potato chips? (Which probably contribute to said bloated feeling.)Final thing that must go:10. My cankles. And other people's halitosis.Final thing that must stay:10. World peace.What's that? We don't have world peace? Crap. Then how about "the concealed weapons ban."Okay, there's my list. What would you add to it? What would you detract? Detest? Deter? What's the word I'm looking for? It starts with a "D".
