What the hug is wrong with me?

Farewell to Tuesday Posts status: So, as you may have noticed, no Tuesday dork side post yesterday. I am officially a M, W, F poster. Or Mawaf, as we like to be called.

But I paid the price. Blog reader Michael J could only make it through one paragraph of my Edwardastic post Monday before he started gagging. So this post is Edward-lite, with a side of geek.


Probably most of you know Star Trek is being re-born in theaters soon.

My sis and bro-in-law are fans. They fell in love over the episode "The Carbonite Maneuver". I mean, how could you not?

So I told my sis and bro-in-law: "Aren't you excited for the movie? Star Trek will finally be cool!"

Well, considering the rampage that followed, you'd have thought I said, "Hey everyone, I love to bite the heads off of doves! What do you think?"

To make up for it, enjoy this scene of Captain Kirk fighting an alien. No, I did not slow the video down. Yes, it really is that lame.

And by lame, I mean cool.


The Today Show did a segment on how hugs are the new handshake.

It was like watching something out of the third dimension. I really don’t like hugging. I need my personal space.

I know it sounds reasonable enough, but I really really really mean it when I say I really really need my personal space.

It’s why I don’t wear my wedding ring; the darn thing was hugging my finger, cutting off my circulation, and mouth-breathing in my face. (Honey, that doesn’t mean I don’t love the ring. Just sayin’.)

But seriously, this is my dance space. That is your dance space. Stay on your own side, Mr. spaghetti arms! (Can anyone name the movie?)

Back to the story. If hugs are the new handshake, I’m going to have to bring to fruition my lifelong dream of living as a cheerful shut-in.

But here’s the problem: Ever since I saw the segment on the Today Show, I haven’t been able to stop hugging people. Anyone and everyone. Neighbors. Teachers. Tennis coaches. Passers-by. The mailman. My life-size cutout of Rafa.

This week at Albertson’s I leapt over the check out counter to hug the store clerk who merely asked, “Did you find everything okay?”

My tennis coach Mike said I sure can run down a lob. I blushed and then tackled the guy.

If you’re just lookin for a little touch, come on over. Or, better yet, merely walk down my street. My "hug-dar" will detect you, and I'll be right there.