What I'm Reading, What I'm Writing, and Get Your First Page Critiqued

Hey y'all. I thought it was time to do some updates.

What I'm reading: 

I was lucky enough to get my hands on an ARC of Matt Kirby's book THE CLOCKWORK THREE. 

It was so good. You know, one of those books that makes me jealous of his way with words. I'm proud to call Matt a friend. So I can track him down and toilet paper his house.

What I'm Writing:

Some of you have been asking what the status is with my book. We are currently at Defcon 4. 

Defcon 1: Find an Agent.

Defcon 2: Revist with Agent.

Defcon 3: Wait to submit to Editors.

Defcon 4: Blood turns to acid because the stupid clock is not ticking away fast enough, and even though you've been waiting for years already, you swear this time, the wait will kill you, so you spend most days trying not to send crazy-a** emails to your agent, demanding to know why he doesn't have the power to speed up time, and perhaps as incentive, you should open a vein and bleed acid blood on everyone...

Defcon 5: Submit to Editors. Or the world blows up. It's fifty-fifty.

Get Your First Page Critiqued, and Meet Some Authors

If you have an interest in the publishing world or writing in general, you probably have heard how important the first page is.

Well, this Saturday, you can have your first page critiqued by a nationally published author... and raise money to provide needy children with books! 

It's a day of workshops and panels and critiques and signings, and an evening extravaganza, with some big names in the book world like James Dashner, Bree Despain, Jessica Day George, Shannon Hale, Ally Condie, Emily Wing Smith... and more. 

I had my first page critiqued last year, and now I have an agent. *

*above statement was not FDA approved, and results may or may not be typical.

Anywho, you can come for the day, or evening, or both. Click here for more info and to register.

Whew. I'm off to Lagoon (the illegitimate love-child of Disneyland and the State Fair) with Sam and the kids, because I got to thinking that it's been a while since I puked my lungs out. Wish us luck. 

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What I'm Reading, What I'm Writing (Starring Jandy Nelson's THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE)

*added- I'll announce the winner of Free Book Friday next blog. (Wednesday). 

Holy cow. First day of summer vacation. The kids are running around, begging to be fed. Even worse, they're demanding to be entertained. I did not sign up for this. 

When I was little, my mother gave me a piece of string, some used chicken wire and a garden shovel, and told me to "use my imagination" until dinnertime, as she shoved me out the door. 

You can bet I used that chicken wire, piece of string, and garden shovel to build myself a treehouse, complete with satellite television. (At least, that's what I tell my kids I did).

Where have those days gone? How am I supposed to live like this? How am I supposed to blog like this?

Since summer used to be the time when I'd sit around, reading, under a tree, little Toto nuzzling at my feet, I thought I'd do a "What I'm Reading... What I'm Writing" blog. 

WHAT I'M READING:

I've been reading realistic fiction lately. Not a vamp/demon/witch in sight. 

So I thought I'd share my thoughts on them, but since I get in trouble whenever I recommend anything, let me just say this first: I am not recommending anything. 

I don't want to get any emails that say, "Brodi said she totally loved this book, and my little Jenny read it, and now my little Jenny is anorexic, therefore Brodi causes anorexia." Because yes, I've gotten these emails before when I've talked about books on my blog. (Okay, not ones that say I cause anorexia, but you get the drift.)

Here's the official disclaimer:

*Disclaimer: I read these as a mother of two young boys, who are not about to read any of them. I read them because I love Young Adult books. Just because I like something does not mean I'm issuing a blanket statement that it's safe for all ages. I am not the arbiter of values and morals, or individual tastes.

Whew. Thanks. I feel better now.

First up was Jandy Nelson's THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE.

Oh my goodness, I can't say enough about how much I loved this book. The writing is like poetry, which isn't surprising because the author wrote poetry first before she wrote a novel. 

It's about a girl, coping with the loss of her sister, and juggling two boys. I know I love a book when I lend it to a neighbor, and I'm mad at myself for letting it escape my bookshelf where I can reach out at a moment's notice and read my favorite passages. (So, neighbor who shall not be named, light a fire under that bushel, or a burr under your bunny, and get reading it!)

Here's a preview:

Next were Carol Lynch Williams' THE CHOSEN ONE and Laurie Halse Anderson's WINTERGIRLS.

These both tackled serious subject matters (polygamist cults and anorexia respectively) Although I really liked both books, I probably won't be reading either of them again. 

The endings left so many questions unanswered, which is probably appropriate given the subjects. And they each had one or more scenes that made me cringe. I liked them both, I thought about them both long after the last page. They are both powerful reads, and I probably won't be reading them again.

So, that's what I'm reading.

WHAT I'M WRITING:

Um... nothing much. Just waiting on revision instructions from Michael. 

What about you guys? What are you reading? What are you writing? 

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Reading, Writing, and the Mysterious Disappearance of a Penny

Least Subtle Music Lyrics I've heard this week:

"I'm so addicted to all the things you do / When you're rollin' 'round with me in between the sheets"

Why not just whack me over the head with a two-by-four that says "I love you"?

What I'm Reading: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. The narrator is Death. The location is Nazi Germany. I'm thinking... upper?

What I'm Writing: 23,512 words in WIP.

(I know it doesn't sound like enough of an increase from last time, especially since I went to a writing retreat in the interim, but I realized one of the scenes in my book had been doubled - copied and pasted instead of cut and pasted - and so when I deleted it... nevermind. Excuses are time-consuming to type, and not just a little boring. Sorry. Let's try it again.)

WIP: 23,512 words. I suck.

The Last Thing an Aspiring Benihana Chef Wants to See:


So, we're at Benihana yesterday for my nephew's birthday, and when the fry cook starts chucking shrimp tails, my little 2-year old nephew "A" starts crying.

We're all: "Don't be scared. The shrimp tails are harmless."

But he's still freaking out, pointing to his throat and sort of saying, "Peh... Peh..."

I'm thinking: Sheesh, this kid must hate shrimp as much as I do. So I say, "I know, little A. Pee-yuuuu."

Then my sister says: "Wait, where is that penny he was playing with?"

Nephew A points to his chest: "Peh-nee."

My sister starts freaking out, frantically searching for the penny, and so I offer her another penny, but that doesn't help.

I know what you're all thinking because I was thinking the same thing: "Why did he have to swallow it during the appetizer?"

My dad (a pediatrician) tells us to sit tight. "A" may or may not have to go to the hospital.

So our cook (a non-asian guy named Jeremy) gets a little flustered, because we're all staring at Nephew A, waiting to see if the penny suddenly bursts out of his chest or anything.

Not Jeremy

Jeremy (with a hesitant smile, and a crack in his voice): "Um... you wanna see an onion volcano?"

The poor guy looked like we had just chopped off his hands and demanded he juggle for us.

So we were overly encouraging. "C'mon, Jer, you can do it. Wow. A volcano made of onion rings. Oooooh. Aaaaah. Don't worry- he always swallows pennies. Show us that salt trick again. You know, the one where you salt the vegetables."

The sweat dripped off his forehead as he juggled knives. It was priceless. We took Nephew A to get an x-ray, and I tagged along for the ride, because my toe was hurting.

Here's the x-ray of my foot. Brodi's Foot X-Ray

Don't worry. I did not break my foot in a million parallel lines; that's a banister behind the x-ray. But other than that, anyone see any anomalies? The doctor says no, but I'm pretty sure there's something funky going on there. Something that might explain why my writer's group thinks I'm number one crazy.

Oh, and Nephew A is gonna be just fine. My sister has the pleasure of... determining when and if the little penny is deposited.

Fun weekend for her. Mwah hah hah hah.

Anyone else doing anything this weekend that doesn't involve studying poop?

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Interpretation of the Toot... and What I'm Reading and Writing

What I'm Reading
As discussed in Wednesday's post, I'll be reading Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle.

Can't wait to see if I still have a crush on Calvin. If anyone wants to join in, I'm sure the Library has plenty of copies, and there's probably not a waiting list.

Want an extra reason for reading it? My favorite castaway Sawyer is reading it too. He has such good taste.

What I'm Writing:
Current WIP: 20,597 (up from 18,495 last week)

Redemption of Zupa's... almost

Remember my crazy day at Zupa's? Well, I tried Zupa's one more time, and there it was. Wi-fi. I didn't even have to plug in.

Everything looked rosy, until I filled my diet coke cup, and there were no bubbles. I'm now known as the girl who freaks out about every little stupid thing at Zupa's.

If Your Toot Could Speak, What Would it Say?
Yesterday, as Hubby was taking Kid C to Harry Potter camp, Kid C said he "tooted." He then proceeded to giggle.

Sam: "Yeah. That's funny, C."

Kid C: "You wanna know what it said?"

Sam: "What your toot said?"

Kid C nods.

Sam: "Okay, sure. What did it say?"

Kid C (in a high voice, the one he uses to imitate girls): "It said, 'When I get home, I wanna play the wii."

I asked Kid C about it when he got home from Harry Potter camp, and he confirmed the message he received from his nether regions.

Kid C: "Is that weird, Brodi?" (He hasn't called me Mom in over a year.)

me: " Is what weird?"

Kid C: "That my toot said that?"

I thought about it for a sec, and decided that this was going to be one of those magical moments of parenthood where the parent imparts little nuggets of wisdom that stick with the child for decades. Like telling your child exactly who the birds and the bees are and stuff like that.

So I looked at him, and said: "No. It's totally normal. How do you think I got the ideas for my book?"

Kid C: "Your toots spoke to you?"

me: "Yes. It must be a family trait."

Then, just to further enforce the parental guidance, I added: "Don't do drugs."

Heck, I just sent him to a camp that taught him there is such a thing as a magical wand and a sport called Quidditch. Who am I to say toots can't talk?

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What I'm Reading, What I'm Writing, and a Twitter Snafu

Housekeeping: Emptying Brodi's tiny brain for your Friday amusement

Reading: EVERYTHING IS FINE by Ann Dee Ellis.
Halfway through and loving it.

WIP: Word Count 18,495
To keep myself motivated on my next book - heretofore known as "Work In Progress" or "WIP" - I'm going to occasionally post my word count. (You can see how I already thwarted my intentions to stay motivated by using the word "occasionally".)

Anyway, the word count I'm aiming for is somewhere between 60,000 and 80,000. So by my calculations, I only have 142,987 words to go.

If anyone else is working on a book, and you want to join me in the word count challenge, (which, again, is totally arbitrary and non-binding) please feel free to leave your own word count in the comments. Together, we can kick our own butts.

Follower status: Holding strong at 59. Would any of you lurkers out there care to make it an even 60? Anyone? I like nice round numbers, and I have to admit to a slight fear of the Primes.

Twittersnafu

Sometimes when I tweet, the page crashes and I get this little thank you note:

Something is technically wrong.

Thanks for noticing—we're going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon.

Followed by this picture:

Ummm... Is this like one of those psychological Rorshach tests?

My first thought on seeing the picture is, "Darn Tootin' somethin's wrong. Something's very very wrong."

First off, the evil ninja robot's distended limbs can't possibly bring good tidings or anything. Plus one of his lobster claw hands is missing, so we know he is seriously P-O'd.

Because he lost a hand, and most likely suffered through a Freudian childhood involving an oedipal complex with his mother, he has decided the only way to make things right is to kill an innocent little bird.

With the help and guidance of the clouds above, he contructs a bomb that looks deceptively like an egg. You can only imagine what will happen after the incubation period.

So, yeah, I'd say something is "technically wrong." And morally wrong. And I'm pretty sure logistically wrong too.

When Twitter thanks me for noticing, and then shows me that picture, I can't help but wonder if I'm part of some weird global experiment to see if Twitter users are indeed smarter than a fifth grader.

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