Three Freaky Things: A.K.A. If a Crab Mated with a Spider, it would look like this...

Good Monday. This blog post will be short, because F.O.B. (friend of the blog) "H" said my post on Friday was too freakin' long, and she didn't even bother reading it because of the length. I'd insert something terribly clever here, in an effort to show "H" how every word on my blog has a place, but I am striving for brevity.

So, on with the blog. (I'm thinking that was the longest introduction ever to the actual post. Sorry.)

In the Spirit of Halloween:

The Top Three Things that Scared the Boogers out of me This Weekend. (Never fear, Sam was on booger-cleanup, so we didn't have to burn down the house).

*Warning: The third thing has a crazy-arse picture of the eight-legged variety, so if my last spider post made you vomit your own heart, don't look. Consider yourself warned.

1. Saw Paranormal Activity.

Proof that a movie doesn't need a big budget to be freaky. Also proof that the scariest monsters are the ones you don't see... dun dun dunnnn. Also proof that ouija boards are never a good idea. Also, if something is haunting you, don't antagonize it. Oh yeah, one more thing. Always keep baby powder on hand at home, just in case... wait. I don't want to spoil it for you.

Anyone else see it? If so, let me know what you thought.

2. Did I ever mention I have an itty-bitty fear of plants? Not flowers, or grass, or that sort of stuff. No, I'm scared of anything that a. grows freakishly fast. b. wraps itself around another plant c. clings to stuff.

Like Japanese Junk Trees that sprout over 7 feet high in under a week? I scream like a little girl. Don't even get me started on mushrooms that pop up overnight.

So, you can imagine the fear in my heart when I walked into the playroom downstairs and found this...The outside vine had found a way in! The window was closed, and locked, but the little bugger came through the wall. Did you hear that? Came through the wall. Just looking for a cankle to wrap its tentacles around.

3. Okay, this is my favorite. Some neighborhood girls found a spider in our apple tree. It's back was huge, and its web looked like balls of cotton. Hubby and Neighbor R captured the thing in a jar, but not before it posed for this stellar pic. Prepare yourselves...

*Added: Yes, this is the actual spider we found. Neighbor "R" took the picture.

Is that the creepiest crawly you've ever seen? At first we thought it was a baby spider sac on its back. But after some trusty Google work, we discovered it's a Crab Spider. Have you ever seen anything like it? I haven't.

So, how was all y'all's weekend? Anything fun? Anything Halloweenie?