I'm Sane. Everyone around me is Crazy. A Day with the Nuts at Zupa's.

Yesterday was sorta crappy. Funny now, but at the time, crappy.

It Didn’t Start Out Well…
Incident 1: Diaper “event” in Kid B’s crib. I won’t gross you out, but it involved premature removal of diaper.

Incident 2: Niece “washed” wii remote. In water.

Incident 3: Niece chewed up blue crayon and spit it on my carpet and shirt. It looked like someone had ingested blueberries and then barfed.

I love my niece. She is very creative in her destruction.

So, you can imagine I was looking forward to my escape to write in the afternoon.

The Afternoon Proved to be More of the Same

Zupa’s has a million “Wi-Fi Hotspot” signs, so I decided to try it out. And my day continued to suck.

So I order my food, and then try to log on to their wi-fi. But no networks are pulling up.

I go to the guy at the counter.

Me: “You have Wi-Fi, right?”

Him: “No, we don’t have that.”

Me (looking at signs all around restaurant): “You’ve got like ten signs saying you do.”

Him: “Oh, Wi-Fi. I thought you said ‘do you serve Wine Frye’.”

Me: “What the heck is Wine Frye?”

Him: “I don’t know. But I know we don’t serve it.”

I try logging on again while I start munching on my salad. It’s the “Nuts about Berries” salad. Only I soon realize there are no nuts on mine. And the nuts are my favorite part.

So I go up to another girl at the counter, this time presenting my salad plate.

Me: “Excuse me, maybe I’m just not seeing them, but I don’t think there are any nuts in this salad.”

Her: “Of course there are. It’s called Nuts about Berries.”

Me (slapping my forehead): “Yeah. I know. I meant, there are no nuts in my particular salad.”

Her: “So, you want more nuts?”

Me (remember my pet peeve about annoying word choices): “No. I don’t want more nuts. I want the original allotment of nuts that was somehow ignored in this particular nuts about berries salad.”

Her: “huh?”

Me: “Yes. More nuts please.”

Back to trying to get Wi-Fi

I pull up the Wi-fi available, and still nothing. So I ask the guy at the counter.

Me: “What’s the Wi-fi network called?”

Him: “Ummm… I don’t know. Zupas maybe?”

The manager comes over. Thank goodness the authorities have been called.

Manager: “We have a Wi-fi bar over there against the wall. You can plug into the Wi-fi.”

Me after a loud sigh: “Plug in? Do you even know what Wi-fi stands for?”

Her: “Yeah. Internet.”

Me (smiling widely): “Great. Thank you.”

Seriously, is 3 o’clock in the afternoon happy hour at Zupas?