Showing posts with label new moon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new moon. Show all posts

New Moon: My Official Report...

Happy Monday Before Thanksgiving!

1. Sorry to mention New Moon again, but I went to the Twilight Lexicon's party and showing on Saturday.

Before the showing, they held a drawing for all sorts of cool thingees: A robe from the movie, autographed CD's, and one of Jacob's abs. (That was the hardest gift to get).

The girl on my left won.


And then the girl on my right won. Me? Nothing.

The girl on my left (Emily) won a CD signed by Jackson Rathbone (Jasper) who didn't have a lot of screen time in the movie, presumably because he was off-set curling his hair.
("What do you mean one side is flat??!!")

Some of the stars showed up for the occasion. Hats off to the movie makeup team. These stars are all beautiful, but they look nothing like they did in the film.

The MC asked a bunch of fun questions, like:

* "Who here is team Edward? Who is team Jacob?"
After which the crowd broke into a riot over the fundamental difference between "Movie Edward" and "Book Edward" and "Movie Jacob" and "Book Jacob". The two lone men in the audience hid in a corner.

* "Who here read the book the earliest?"
A girl about two rows up from me raised her hand. She read the first book when Stephenie Meyer was just a toddler. Nobody could beat that.

On to the Movie:

I don't know if this is a spoiler or not, but Jacob has his shirt off a lot.
At one point in the movie, Bella -- under the delusion that a ghost Edward is almost as good as the real one -- crashes her motorcycle and cuts her forehead.
Jacob looks around. There is nothing to staunch the flow of blood. Nothing. No leaves, no dirt, no corner of his shirt, no sleeve, no hand, no long flowing hair, nothing in the world to stop the trickle of blood. So he has to rip his shirt off.
I have to wonder if Jacob's t-shirt was made of water proof nylon or something, because after all the trouble to rip it off and dab at Bella's cut, the shirt didn't seem to soak up one drop of blood.

In fact, it was difficult to find a picture of Jacob where he didn't have his shirt off. Here's one of those rare pics. If you can find your own, they are worth a fortune.
Also, if I had a nickel for every time a guy tells Bella "It's too dangerous for you to be near me" and "This is the last time you'll ever see me" and "So you've decided to eat again?" I'd be a rich woman.

(Rain doesn't bother dogs. Oh, wait...)

Bella has it rough this movie. She gets dumped by Edward, then she gets dumped by all of the Cullens, then she gets dumped by Jacob, then her Dad wants her to move to Florida... I don't know why. She is an absolute joy to be around.

Look: here she is at the neighborhood campout, roasting smores.


Sometimes she loves to just lounge around on the beach
Twilight

And here she is going for a hike, loving nature. Only problem is, she tends to get lost, and somebody's gonna end up ripping off his shirt and carrying her to safety.
Twilight

And here she is, making new friends with the pec pack. She's just so likable. Sam has to hold Paul back because he wants to hug her.
Twilight

Sometimes if you turn your back for just a moment, she'll attempt to inhale sea water. So fun! And a big hit at parties.
Twilight

And if you ask her on a date, you might end up in a threesome. Because that's how Bella rolls.
Twilight

Here she is, almost kissing Jacob. She almost kisses him a lot. And what could be better than an almost kiss?
Twilight

My New Moon Grade: A+


2. New Moon fever has hit our house too.

Sam left me this weekend. He said he was going shopping, but I was pretty sure I would never see him again, because his yellow eyes looked so sad, and his cheek cracked a little bit. So, I wandered into our backyard, spinning in circles and calling out his name.


I barely recognized our yard. Where there was once grass, in which Sam and I frolicked just months ago, there was now death. And snow. Okay, snow-covered death. The vine that had snaked its way into our basement was dead and gone. And snow-covered.

Despite our backyard being only 1/8 of an acre big, I got lost.

Kid B found me hours later. He ripped off his 4T t-shirt and carried me the three feet back inside my house.

3. I loved this! (via Alice Pope): Thirty-Four Ways New Moon the Movie Is Better Than New Moon the Book

So, what's everyone's plans for Thanksgiving? Going out of town? Staying in? I'll have a short blog on Wednesday, and then we're off to Sam's Ranch.

New Moon by the Numbers... and the Final Free Book Friday

1. Free Book Friday: Last one before the holidays! Leave a comment today to enter

2. New Moon Report

I went to see New Moon last night/early this morning, and I'm shocked I have any sort of blog in me. I'll go more into depth Monday, but here's New Moon by the numbers:


*Time I left my house: 10:15 p.m.

*Time I got home: 4:45 a.m. The next morning. The next morning. As in, a few hours ago.

*Number of times I suggested playing "Twilight/New Moon Car Games" on the way to the theater: 2

*Number of people who actually knew any "Twilight/New Moon Car Games": 0


*Number of fans in long lines around the building, shivering in blankets: thousands

*Number of times we cut in line because we didn't want to shiver: 1

*Number of security guards ready to use their biceps to force tween line-cutters back to the very back: 24

*Number of security guards who pictured themselves as Jacob and the Wolf Pack securing the boundaries of Forks: 24
*Number of fans in line to use the girls bathroom: 12

A few hyper girls said they were thinking of using the men's room, and they wondered if any men were in there. I said, "This theater on this night is probably the one time you're guaranteed there are no men in sight."

They didn't find me funny. One said, "There are dedicated boyfriends out there who will see New Moon on opening night."

I wanted to say, "Oh, I thought we were talking about men."

*Number of goodies inside my swag bag: 10.
Including a tiny little bottle of lotion called "Essence of Jacob".


*Number of races represented at Forks High School in the Olympic Peninsula: 42.

*Number of times Edward blinked because of his creepy contacts: millions
I'm sorry, but those contacts made the Cullens in this movie look like a mix between cheetahs and aliens.

*Number of people who actually believed Edward when he earnestly stated, "This is the last time you'll ever see me.": zero

*Number of times the audience swooned over Jacob's abs: 17

*Number of times the audience swooned over the wolf pack's abs: 10

*Number of times the audience swooned over Edward: 12

*Number of times the audience swooned over some random old old couple in one of the previews: 1
It was a very weird moment.

*Number of times Bella got lost in the woods: 2 or 3 or maybe 4

*Number of times Edward called Bella his "spider monkey": none.
And I thought the movie was the worse for it.


*Number of straight months Bella can sit in her room, not eating, and staring out the window: 4

*Number of times the camera circled her during those months: 4

*Number of times I got carsick: 4

*Number of times we thought the CG effects made Jacob's hands look like the size of Subaru's: 3

*Number of neck kinks we got from sitting on the front row: still counting

*Number of times Edward walked slo-mo: 4 (I thought vamps were supposed to be fast)

*Number of times Bella totally messed with Jacob's head: more than a few

*Number of times Jacob promised not to hurt her, and then turned around and hurt her within a few hours, and then told her he broke his promise: 2. or 3.

*Number of times I wondered WTH I was doing at a theater in Provo at 2:00 in the morning: a few

*Number of times I wished I was anywhere else: zero

*Number of times I got Essence of Jacob all over my steering wheel: 1
It's okay. It was an earthy, rustic smell, almost as if I'd been petting him all night.

Anyone else see it? What did you think?