My California Adventure: including Kid B's pigeon impersonation and the scariest gang at Muscle Beach

Hey y'all! I'm back. Sorry for the blog silence on Friday. We decided to make the drive from Dana Point, CA to Salt Lake City in one day, and it was 11 hours in the car. 700 miles.

Yep, that's kid C watching a movie on the computer and Kid B watching the car's dvd. Because apparently the earth would stop rotating if the two of them actually agreed on a movie. What do people do with three kids?

Anywho, it's time for a...

RUNDOWN OF THE TRIP! (Dun Dun DUN) *cue timpani drums*

Grab your snacks now, because this is gonna be long.

We... played at the beach.
Kid C running for his life
Kid C thought the "Watch out for rocks" sign at the beach really said, "See how many secret places on your person in which you can hide sand!" He's still sneezing the stuff.
Kid B preferred one degree of separation between him and the water. He would put a sand dolphin on the beach, and then patiently wait for the water to wash it away.
Kid B: Daring the water to get any closer. Just cross this line.
Every once in a while, the water took the challenge.

My nephews Josh and 4-year-old Asher played smashball. It only took them two hour to smash their record. Which was one in a row.
Why is the ball so tiny?!
We also invaded the famed Muscle Beach at Venice Beach. The reason why the gym is empty in the pic is because this pack of hoodlums threw down the gauntlet and the girlie men ran away. Actually we just told them there was a sale on "Juice" down the block. We meant orange juice.
the gang, imposing their lack of muscles, and flexing the fleshy part of their elbows.
We also fed the birds. Because everyone knows the pigeon population is endangered.
Kid B does his pigeon impersonation. He made a buck-25 in change from passers-by who thought he was a pigeon, but then were delighted to discover he was a boy.

Here he is, about to take off.
Venice beach also had the nerve to charge 20 bucks for these Luigi and Yoshi backpacks. Good thing we're not suckers.
These so-called "backpacks" fit all of two quarters inside. Which we had to give the woman selling the backpacks. For "insurance".
Next up was the happiest place on earth: The Lines at Disneyland!

We made the kids wear matching shirts. Because we didn't want to look like tourists.

Kid B and Asher: Thinking to themselves: "Does everyone realize the street behind us is fake? Seriously, adults. It's a wall. A painted wall. Did we pay money for this?"
At one point, we told Kid B he was in charge of crowd control. He actually believes he's leading these people.
Follow me, my people. I shall lead you to the promised land: the Fastpass lane.
Speaking of Fastpasses, I rocked them. Seriously. Check out this stack.
If my writing career ever falls through, I'm going to become a freelance Disneyland guide.
How do I get so many passes at once? It's all in the wrist.

I know it's called Splash Mountain, but why do we have to get so wet?
Check out Kid B's expression. It's like he's too terrified to scream.
I was soaked after this ride, and all I could think about was how many places that water had been. And how many people it had touched before me.

Okay, this post is getting too long. I'll leave you with this hangman board from our game with Kid C. The clues we gave were:

1. Villain
2. Star Wars
3. The villain from Star Wars.

Kid C never got it. Anyone out there have any guesses?

This week I'm going to the world's best writing conference WIFYR. Pronounced Why-Fer. Hope to see some of you there!