The TOP TEN things my kid says to me to keep me grounded

The other day, I did a TOP TEN list on Twitter, and I got a couple requests to do it as a blog post, because of all the people not on the twitter. (I'm looking at you, Dorien). 

So, since I have a book coming out in 17 days (17 DAYS!!), sometimes my head is in the clouds. Below, I present to you the TOP TEN THINGS MY KID SAYS TO ME TO KEEP ME GROUNDED:

#10 "Percy Jackson already did mythology, and he's a BOY."

#9 "Please don't show your cover to my friends. It's embarrassing."

#8 Me: "I'm going to be in Wal-Mart!" Kid C (shrugging): "I'm in Wal-Mart at least once a week."

#7 "Mom, do you know any REAL authors? Because my teacher needs one to talk to her class."

#6 "Why did you have to write a book about... LOVE?" (Followed by melodramatic gagging sounds)

#5 "Wouldn't it be cool if Nikki ate Jack's BRAINS?! (Yes, he's into Zombies)

#4 (Looking at my cover): "That's a weird looking dude." me: "Um, that's a girl." Him (turning cover upside down): "Oh. I get it." me: "???"

#3 When a friend asked him what my book was about: "Um... Monsters. And dragons. And people who eat BRAINS!" There are none of these things. 

#2 (looking at finished copy) "What, they only made it out of paper?" Tosses it onto floor. me: "Yes, they cancelled the gold leaf printing." 

And the number one thing my kid says to keep me grounded: "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE R.L. STINE?" 

If you're a writer, what do your kids say to you? 

If you're not a writer... whatcha up to this weekend?