Kid C snores at the Shakespeare Festival... and the best perk to being an Author

Hey y'all. 

So, today marks one-month until the sequel to EVERNEATH is due in to my publisher. 

I'm not freaking out. Mostly because my editor reads my blog. (Hi Kristin! Nothing to see here!)

But I will say you can read my stress on my chin. I pick at my chin until it starts to bleed, then I wait for the blood to dry up, and then I pick it some more. And like any self-respecting addict, I say, "This is the last time I pick it. The last time. I am in control."

And then I pick it again. 

Yes, I have just spent the first half of this blog talking about picking scabs. There are so many places to go from here. 

1. When I turned eight, my parents took me to the Shakespeare Festival for the first time. Since then, with few exceptions, I've gone every year.

Kid C and Kid B at the Globe replica in Cedar City

Now Kid C is eight, so I took him to his first play, expecting it to be as magical as my first play. 

Here's how magic it was for him:

To sleep, perchance to dream...

And he was on the front row. The actors were practically tripping over his feet. And yet, he slept...

2. Look at what I got in the mail today!

UNDER THE NEVER SKY by Veronica Rossi

INCARNATE by Jodi Meadows

SLIDE by Jill Hathaway

Undoubtedly, the best perk to being an author is being able to read books before they come out! But the worst part is getting these books in the mail on the day that marks one month before my sequel is due... 

And... we've come full circle. 

So, what do y'all plan on doing for the last month of summer? Anyone going to the SCBWI conference in L.A. this week? If you are, look for me!

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Thing #1 and Thing #1: The Battle is Afoot, and How Kid C really views his Grandpa

It's time for... 

Thing #1 and Thing #1!

Thing #1


My dad started his chemo yesterday. 

My dad, my mom, and my sister. And Jerry Sloan retiring on the television.
And Mr. McDrippy Drip in my Dad's arm. 

Unfortunately, I had popped out for a diet coke when the juice actually started flowing. I was so bummed I didn't get to bellow: "Unleash Hell!"


My dad reassured me that he gave the battle cry, but I'm not sure I believe him. Nobody else in the infusion room was giving us strange looks, and strange looks are a sure sign of spontaneous battle cries.


Oh well. There's always next week. 


Did I mention that one of his chemo drugs is named "5 F-U"? Awesome. 


As a side note, we've been trying to limit our f-bomb usage. We figured people who are asking for miracles shouldn't be spouting the f-bomb right and left. But our replacement name for the tumor- the "Mother Yucker"- lacks a certain panache.    


Thing #1


We were driving in the car the other day, when Kid C says, "Hey! It's Grandpa! Is that Grandpa's store?"


We craned our necks to see what he was referring to. It was this:

I asked Kid C why he thought Colonel Sanders was Grandpa. His response: "He's got white hair... he's got glasses... he has a beard."

I guess I can see it.

So, what are y'all doing this weekend? I turned my latest revisions in yesterday, and pretty soon the book is going to copyedits. We're one step closer! In the hundred step process to getting a book published.

I'm also thinking of going to the Breathless Reads book tour at the SLC Library tomorrow at 2:00 p.m.  Five awesome YA authors in one place? Sign me up! Anyone else going?

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Observations from the Author Photo Shoot: There is a right and a wrong way to wear Spanx.

 Hey y'all. Here's a report from my photo shoot:

1. Park City is cold in January.

We took the photos on Main Street in Park City, because that's where much of my book takes place. 

Not only is it cold, but there are a lot of skiers who roam the streets, so no matter where we went, we had an audience. Most of the people watching had a visible little thought bubble above their heads that said:

Is she supposed to be someone famous?

and...

How can someone with such big cheeks be famous?

I think this is because the Sundance Film Festival is coming up. I wanted to tell them, "I'm no one. I actually paid this poor girl to take my picture."

And... it was cold.

2.  It doesn't matter how many cute outfits you pick out. If you're stupid enough to get your pictures taken in Park City in the winter, you have just one outfit. A coat.

That's me in the white coat, and I don't know who that other person is. Often when I casually lean against a metal wall, someone inevitably shows up with a camera.

Of course I'm kidding. That's really my awesome photographer Opie, and she did a great job of telling me when to smile big and when to look serious. 

I brought several outfits to the shoot, and when Opie saw them, she said, "Um... those are all five different versions of the same outfit" because I only ever wear black ONLY EVER and I never wear color NEVER EVER.

Thankfully, my mom had the foresight to bring along a red scarf. Remember the one I was making fun of?

3. If you're going to wear spanx, make sure you wear them correctly.

I decided to give spanx a try. They were the kind you wear under a shirt, and they're supposed to cover everything but... um... the sisters. Unfortunately, I didn't know this. I accidentally put it on backward, like a swimsuit, so that it was completely smashing everything on my chest (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

When I looked in the mirror, I was flat as a pancake. Then I turned around to discover I had an awesome rack (with cleavage) coming out my back. It looked like someone had put my head on backward.

Thankfully, the Nordstrom girl came in and pointed out the error of my ways, all the while trying to stifle a giggle. 

But, for one shining moment... I was flat. From a certain angle.

4. I got a few pics with my honey. (No, not Rafa. The other honey.)

5. I got a sneak peek of my photos in an online gallery, and I'm amazed at what miracles a professional photographer can pull off. I can't wait to show y'all!

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The Dreaded Author Pic: aka Why I was up all Night. aka Anyone want to stand in for me?

Yo, y'all.

Today I'm getting the thing that every author dreads and fears:

No, not leprosy. I'm getting the author picture. You know, the one that will go on the back cover of the book, to be immortalized in print forever.

Okay, maybe not every author feels like I do, but darn if I wasn't up all night last night stressing about it. (Which did wonders for my skin this morning, and not in the good way). 

I have friends who have totally awesome author pics:

Bree "I can even make a brick wall look good" Despain

Emily "What picture? I was just looking at something over there, and smiling thoughtfully" Wing Smith

Then there's me.

This picture was in the Salt Lake Tribune over the weekend, with the caption "Fans of Utah young adult author Ally Condie". 

I had no idea how front-and-center I would appear. Check out the poor little girl to my left, who's trying to peek around the enormous planet dressed in black. 

It looks more like the caption should read: "Ally's number one giant fan, who might follow her home and leave dead roses by her front door. She's comin' to getcha, Ally. And she's leading the charge of hundreds more just like her! Only, smaller. Rarrrrr!"

To be fair, when the girl told everyone she was taking the picture, I puffed up like a blow fish. That's how I pose. 

Cheese.

I also took another picture recently. I won't show it to you, but I will tell you that if it had a caption, it would read "Boobs McGee, and her giant purse. Be amazed at how they dwarf everyone around them!"

Emily Wing Smith says I look exactly the same in every picture ever taken of me. I don't know what she's talking about...

Okay, maybe I do. But this is because I have spent my life practicing how to smile so I don't look like this:

 

Brodi Ashton. Her cheeks arrive 15 minutes before she does.

Anywho, there's a chance I'm overthinking the whole thing. Really, I just want to get it over with. Anyone have any advice? Anyone know how to apply blush so that my chest looks flatter?

Maybe I'll just go with the caption: "Objects in picture are smaller than they appear. I promise."

What would the captions of your own pictures read?

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An Evening with Margie Stohl and Kami Garcia, and tons of Beautiful Creatures

So, I had the opportunity to catch the end of Margie Stohl and Kami Garcia's world tour to promote their newest release in the Beautiful Creatures series, BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS.

Margie and Kami were personable, funny, and kept the crowd (the real people as well as the blog tv audience) thoroughly entertained.

Writer Peep Emily Wing Smith acted as interviewer, and then I was called up to moderate the lightning round of questions. 

Apparently, the physical requirements for the job were to stand there, looking awkward, and let me just say I did my job well. 

(Picture taken by Heather Zahn Gardner)

Margie and Kami chose well, because I majored in Awkward and minored in Bumbling. (Incidentally, these were the suggestions from my career counselor in High School. I'll never be able to thank her enough.)

Congratulations to Margie and Kami. They are two of the nicest, most down-to-earth people I know, despite Kami's strange fixation with murdering her characters and Margie's habit of breaking out into song at any given moment.

(Top: Bree Despain, Valynne Nagamatsu, Kami Garcia, me

Bottom: Emily Wing Smith, Margie Stohl)

If you ever get a chance to meet them in person, go. Now. Or when the actual event takes place.

What are y'all doing this weekend?

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