Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts

Weekend Top Five, The Conundrum that is the Smile, and Anatomy of a Star Trek Smackdown

Rundown from Chimi-Challenge week:

1. Deadline to finish my WIP (Broken) is Wednesday night at midnight. I spoke to Team Tamale officials, and they are confident the book will be finished at 11:59.

a. For the next act, Team Gluten-Intolerant will finish her sequel by Nov. 30.

b. How is everyone doing on NaNoWriMo? Shellie? Eden? Olivia? Alysa? Hannah? Who am I missing?

2. We got our family pictures Saturday morning. We've been planning it for two years. The Photographer said for everyone to wear the same solid color like red, blue, black, tan or similar. We all showed up in different colors: Red, Blue, Black, Tan and White. Two years planning, and we still don't get it right. Even I know Blue and Black don't match.
(Ashton family throwing leaves in frustration over our inability to coordinate colors)

3. Our original photographer had to cancel at the last minute because of a death in the family. We began to think the Universe didn't want us to get our pictures taken. Then my good friend from high school Heather Zahn Gardner stepped in and rescued us.

Apparently, the Universe doesn't care if we get our pictures taken or not, only that we continue to struggle with the simple concept of the elusive "Smile".

Take 1Take 2

Take 3

Take 4

Take 542
You can see Heather had her work cut out for her, but she remained cool and calm.
Behold, here are Kid B and Kid C, looking cuter than our collective gene pool should allow.

4. Attempted to potty-train Kid B.
You know how babies get their nights and days mixed up? Well, Kid B is exhibiting the same behavior, only with potty-training. He sits on the toilet for hours at a time, and then gets up and goes into the living room to pee.

Apparently all the world's his toilet, except for the actual toilet, which is his oyster, and he'd never pee in his oyster.
(Please, Sir? Just one more diaper?)

5. The other night at Sunday Dinner, there was a fissure in the Galaxy. Did you hear it?

It all began when one side of the table uttered the classic fightin' words: "In the Star Trek Universe, the Gold uniforms signified command, and the red, engineering."

Well, you can imagine the Smackdown that ensued. (For those of you who don't know, a Star Trek Smackdown consists of two people climbing into a fighting arena with nobody watching, because nobody cares.)

The other side of the table answered with a, "Uh Nuh Yuh Did-enh!" (Translated: "Oh no you didn't" in Klingon). "Gold signifies engineering. Red: Command!"
Then they turned to me, the one with the iPhone at hand. I looked it up and found the source of the discrepency: Yes, we are all losers, no matter what color we wear.

How was all y'all's weekend? What did you do? Do you know the meaning of the Trek uniforms? Do you care?

Off to write at Border's. Team Tamale Forever!

Thing About Me #15: Let me know if we're in a fight...

The other day, my brother-in-law picked me up a Star Trek glass from Burger King. I don't really think he considered the ramifications of such an action.

At Sunday dinner, sis-in-law E started shouting the names of the Star Trek shows, and all their incarnations, to prove she deserved the glass.

Other sis-in-law E started planning trips to Burger Kings across the valley, saying I didn't deserve the glass, and to accept such a gift would be admitting I was a Trekkie.

I finally concluded we were all losers.

THING ABOUT ME #13

Wait, are we on 13 or 14?

Okay, thing about me number 15, continuing the longest 25 thingies about me tag.

15. I don't know if there's a word for it. What do you call someone who sees a toddler in the middle of the street, no adult around, and thinks everything's probably fine with that picture. Because if there was a problem, someone somewhere would surely grab the toddler out of harm's way. I'm hungry. What's for lunch? Why does my ear itch?

That's the affliction I have.

So the other day I was helping my sister move. Just me and her. We were in the middle of packing the moving truck when she had to leave suddenly to go to her new house and pay the blind guy. (Guy who installs blinds. Not sight-challenged guy.)

My sister leaves, and I'm in the front yard alone.

Her next door neighbor comes over, says hi to me, how's it goin', that sort of stuff.

Then she goes inside the house to find my sister.

And I just watch her go inside. She's calling to my sister. Wandering about, looking for her.

And I go back to packing.

After a while, the neighbor comes out. She says, "Do you know where Erin is?"

me: "Um, yeah. She's not here. She left a little while ago."

She looks at me for a moment. It finally hits me.

me: "Which, I guess I should have mentioned before you went wandering through the house, calling for her."

I have a friend -- Friend A , a.k.a. Aunt S -- who laughs about this sort of attribute of mine. She discovered it when she said to me one day, "I'm so glad we were able to get over that whole Eden fiasco."

me: "Um, what Eden fiasco?"

A: "You know, when we had that disastrous weekend with our two families in Eden, and you left in a huff because you were all mad about something?"

me: "I remember the weekend, but I had fun."

A: "No, you didn't. I only saw the exhaust pipe as you and Sam peeled out of the parking lot."

me: "That's not how I remember it..."

A: "Then how do you account for the fact that we didn't speak to each other for over four months?"

me (shocked): "We didn't speak for four months?"

A: "Even my husband [who is arguably the nicest man on the face of the planet] said you must have hated me."

me: "Wow. I'm sorry."

A: "Why are you sorry? You didn't even know we were in a fight."

me: "Um, so are we done fighting now?"

A: "Yes."

me: "Good. I'm glad we resolved the issue."

I wish this was just an isolated incident, but it's not. Friend R says I'm like a man in this respect. I didn't really take it as a compliment.

So, what is the word for it? Inattentive? Clueless? Male?

Please, if any of you reading this are in a fight with me, leave a comment. Let me know the situation, and if I need to apologize.

And if we are not on speaking terms, then the comments section is the perfect place to start the healing process. But first, let me know we are not speaking.

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend. Are you going anywhere? I'm helping my sister lay sod and then I may see this cool new movie. See y'all Wednesday.


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

I Dare You to Call Me a Trekkie. And Chris Pines: Yum

Not-yet-released movie-viewing status: Yep. I saw it. Early Preview.

You know what I'm talking about, right?

At least, you Trekkies know what I'm talking about. And let me tell you, when you hear those opening words:

"A long time ago, in a galaxy..." wait, that's not right.

"In Space, no one can hear you scream..." Oh crap.

Anyone here speak geek? Hold on. Let me Google it.

Okay, got it.

"Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. To see the zippers in the cheesy alien costumes. To say goodbye to the un-named trooper of the week. To fall to one's knees, and give a gut-wrenching shout of "Kaaaahhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn!"

Okay, I may have embellished the opening words.

As most of you know, I am not a Trekkie. (BTW, did you know that the purest Trekkies consider "Trekkie" a derogatory term? I mean gee whiz, Trekkies can sure be a touchy bunch of Trekkies.)

Anyway, back to Trekkies. I am no Trekkie. I'm not even a closet Trekkie, denying my Trekksual orientation. I do not debate the merits of previous Trek disasters, a la the guys from Big Bang Theory (by the way, this same debate took place at Sunday dinner last night):



So my expectations were pretty low.

And when I saw some reviews that said, "The best Star Trek movie since The Wrath of Kahn," and then I saw the poster for said Wrath movie:
I thought to myself, "This is what it's trying to live up to? A movie about a battle with Michael Bolten?"

So I lowered my already drowning expectations into a deep dark abyss.

But I have to admit... from the first space battle scene, the first heroic death (whoops, spoiler alert) the first meeting of Spock and Kirk, I was hooked.

Yes, some of the aliens looked like they had been injected with a buttload of botox. And I'm sure some of the references to past shows went way over my head. (Tribbles, anyone? Yeah, me neither.)

But I can't wait to see it again.

Things I liked about it:

1. Simon Pegg plays "Scottie". Simon Pegg is the English actor behind such movies as Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Two of my favorites. (I do not recommend movies because I always get in trouble, so please don't go out and rent them or anything.)

2. James Tiberius Kirk spends most of the movie drunk, drugged or in a bar fight. He always sports a swollen lip and the traces of blood from his latest scuffle. He's an absolute mess. And I love guys who are absolute messes.

He's a scruffy nerfherder.

3. Halfway through the movie, my mom leans over and asks me (in reference to Capt. Kirk), "Isn't that Hugh Jackman?"
Hugh Jackman

Chris Pines: Capt. KirkI know. They're like twins.

4. There exists a certain contagious energy when hundreds of geeks converge in one place. You could almost taste the pathetic despair in the air. And it tasted good.

5. There were no Klingons or Klingon dialects. (At least, as far as I could tell)



6. The security guards in the theater were so dang serious. It was really very cute.

Security guard:
"If I even see a cell phone, I will have to escort you from the theater. The higher ups have given me no leeway on this, so please make it easier on yourself." Then he flashed his ID. "Don't make me use this."

Then he hitched up his belt, tipped his hat to the ladies, clicked his spurs and sauntered out of the room, to where Daisy was hitched to a post outside.


Things I could do without:
1. Trudging scenes.
I understand the need for pacing in movies, as well as books. But I really get bored with the trudging scenes, where the Main Character gets stuck/stranded/lost and must trudge through the snow/desert/sludge along the way encountering monsters/bad guys/starving children.

I know it's all about giving the audience/reader a chance to take a breath before the big final showdown. But it feels exactly how it sounds.

Like trudging.

2. Now people are going to call me a Trekkie. But I'm not. Because this movie is not Star Trek. It's not. It's a really cool sci-fi pic.

Sis-in-law E still says I'm a Trekkie now, no matter how much I deny it. So we'll have a quick lesson.

This is Trekkie:
This is Trekkie:





This is NOT Trekkie. Sci-fi geek, yes. Trekkie, no. I am a sci-fi geek.


You still callin' me a Trekkie? Whatev's.

It's time again for some contests and book give-aways. I'll give you the details Wednesday, but let me just say the contests are easy-peezy. I might as well be giving the books away for free! Which, I guess I am.

What the hug is wrong with me?

Farewell to Tuesday Posts status: So, as you may have noticed, no Tuesday dork side post yesterday. I am officially a M, W, F poster. Or Mawaf, as we like to be called.

But I paid the price. Blog reader Michael J could only make it through one paragraph of my Edwardastic post Monday before he started gagging. So this post is Edward-lite, with a side of geek.

THE GEEK SMACKDOWN HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

Probably most of you know Star Trek is being re-born in theaters soon.

My sis and bro-in-law are fans. They fell in love over the episode "The Carbonite Maneuver". I mean, how could you not?

So I told my sis and bro-in-law: "Aren't you excited for the movie? Star Trek will finally be cool!"

Well, considering the rampage that followed, you'd have thought I said, "Hey everyone, I love to bite the heads off of doves! What do you think?"

To make up for it, enjoy this scene of Captain Kirk fighting an alien. No, I did not slow the video down. Yes, it really is that lame.

And by lame, I mean cool.


WOULD YOU CARE FOR AN AWKWARD HUG?

The Today Show did a segment on how hugs are the new handshake.

It was like watching something out of the third dimension. I really don’t like hugging. I need my personal space.

I know it sounds reasonable enough, but I really really really mean it when I say I really really need my personal space.

It’s why I don’t wear my wedding ring; the darn thing was hugging my finger, cutting off my circulation, and mouth-breathing in my face. (Honey, that doesn’t mean I don’t love the ring. Just sayin’.)

But seriously, this is my dance space. That is your dance space. Stay on your own side, Mr. spaghetti arms! (Can anyone name the movie?)

Back to the story. If hugs are the new handshake, I’m going to have to bring to fruition my lifelong dream of living as a cheerful shut-in.

But here’s the problem: Ever since I saw the segment on the Today Show, I haven’t been able to stop hugging people. Anyone and everyone. Neighbors. Teachers. Tennis coaches. Passers-by. The mailman. My life-size cutout of Rafa.

This week at Albertson’s I leapt over the check out counter to hug the store clerk who merely asked, “Did you find everything okay?”

My tennis coach Mike said I sure can run down a lob. I blushed and then tackled the guy.

If you’re just lookin for a little touch, come on over. Or, better yet, merely walk down my street. My "hug-dar" will detect you, and I'll be right there.