Happy Free Book Friday y'all.
Today I'm giving away a signed copy of Sydney Salter's Jungle Crossing.
Read to the bottom to find out how to enter.
Last night I watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I'd never seen the show, but I heard there was going to be a shooter loose in a hospital, and I had to get in on that action. I discovered there's a lot we can learn about life from watching season finales, even if we don't know what's going on.
So, I present to you...
The top 10 life lessons gleaned from season finales:
1. If you're pregnant, you better hurry up and tell the baby-daddy the big news, otherwise he's likely to get shot.
2. If you're in a love triangle, and you can't decide which direction to go, there's nothing like a shooting rampage in your place of business to help make up your mind.
3. If you're in love with someone, but it's a secret, and that someone gets shot, you can save his life. Just admit you're in love with him, and he'll live. But you have to do it when the time is right, like when he gasps, and grabs your hand really hard.
4. You can order someone not to die. "Don't you dare die on me! You stay awake! You hear me?" and if you say it with enough conviction, it will work.
5. As much as I admire the truth, if I'm dying and there's nothing you can do to save me, don't tell me.
If I say, "I can't feel anything anymore. The pain is going away. Is that a good thing?"
You say, "Yes. It's a great thing. It means the healing has begun."
Do not say, "No. That's a very bad thing. I promised I'd tell the truth, even if it's hard to hear. Probably your spleen is bursting."
sidenote: If you could've saved me, but the stupid elevator was broken, and you couldn't haul me up the stairs to the OR, don't tell me that either.
6. Just because SWAT teams have roped off the hospital due to an armed mad man loose inside, and the hospital is in "lockdown", that doesn't mean you can't cross the yellow tape and walk in and out at any moment. The officials are distracted with helplessly watching people die. They won't notice if you want to go inside and get a closer look.
7. Just because every law enforcement agency is there, and they have the situation in hand, that doesn't mean you couldn't do better. If you used to work at the hospital, or if you know someone who works there, you may be the best hope. Go on in.
8. Hospitals become very small when there's a shooter inside. No matter where you are, he's around the corner. Trust me.
9. If you run into the shooter, and he offers you a drink, feel free to turn him down. It's okay to offend the man with the gun. It means you're brave.
Sidenote: If you dare a shooter to shoot you, he won't. It's the best way to stay alive.
10. A man who bought his first gun at a mall the day before will always be a better shot than the trained snipers surrounding him.
BONUS:
When the mad-man finds you (and trust me, he will) and he asks you if you're a surgeon, and he's been shooting surgeons all day... it's okay to lie. Lie like the wind. Tell him you're a nurse, or a janitor. Those people never get shot. You can feel bad about it later.
