So, on this Wednesday, of a particularly long week, I'd like to talk about waiting. I know many of you are in the middle of talking to/submitting to/querying to many prospective agents/editors/publishers, and if you've had a taste of the process at all, you know there's a lot of waiting involved.
Waiting.
Waiting.
And then some more waiting.
So, I thought I'd share with you some of my techniques to pass the time while you're waiting. (Let me preface this by saying, I also read books and work on other projects. On occasion, I even feed the kids. But sometimes, I'm just waiting.)
1. Solitaire
The other day, I reached 666 wins. I'm not normally a superstitious person, but you can bet I stayed up the extra two hours that night until I turned that win number to a more appropriate 667.
15.7 win percentage. 4,279 games played. As the Marines say, Hoo Wah.
(Of course, when they are yelling it as they invade countries, I'm sure they're thinking, "America rules!" and probably not, "Did you see that chick post the 15.7 win percentage? Hooo Wahhh!"
2. Turn your book into a cheesy, lego-like cartoon trailer.
During one wait last year, I made a cartoon preview for my first book Echo, just for my own kicks and giggles. Here it is:
During one wait last year, I made a cartoon preview for my first book Echo, just for my own kicks and giggles. Here it is:
3. Write a Song... and then record yourself singing it.
And this is the one colossal waste of time I can't believe I'm about to share with you. But, in honor of American Idol starting up, and those sad sacks that crashed and burned last night in front of all of the country, I shall push forward.
During one of my more manic waiting periods, I wrote a song. (A "Manic Wait" is the same as a "Wait", only with more pills.)
It's about writer's block. And I wrote it to the tune of that classic Suzanne Vega song "Tom's Diner".
It's about writer's block. And I wrote it to the tune of that classic Suzanne Vega song "Tom's Diner".
If that wasn't embarassing enough, I recorded my own version of WRITER'S BLOCK. Me singing.
Those of you who've met me in person know my speaking voice resembles a chipmunk with two acorns shoved up his nostrils. Well, my singing voice is even better.
Since it's humiliating and just plain really really bad, I thought it would be perfect for my blog. I've also included the lyrics, in case you can't understand my singing. Unfortunately, the GarageBand application on my Mac makes my voice very clear. Again, this is unfortunate.
So, below, I present to you... Brodi Ashton, singing WRITER'S BLOCK, to Tom's Diner. (The lyrics are included below. You can sing along. Just follow the bouncing ego.)
I am sitting in my bedroom
Told my hubby this is “working”I am waiting for the answers
To my villain’s motivations
And it’s hard to concentrate
And before I even know it
I am looking out the window
Are those doggies walking by?
(Doo doo’s)
Then I head to the store
Family says I need to feed them
And I watch for inspiration
Maybe it’s around the corner
There’s a guy at the counter
And he’s looking kind of iffy
Maybe he’s got superpowers
And he’ll make a good villain
(doo doo’s)
Do his eyebrows knit together?
How do eyebrows “knit together”?
I opened up the file
Oh this dialogue it is cliché
Who writes this sappy drivel?
Oh yeah, that would be me.
And I’m turning to the keyboard
And I’m writing random letters
When I’m feeling someone watching me
Oh yay, it’s the mailman!
There’s a letter meant for me
Is my agent gonna drop me?
There’s a woman on the outside from my church
Does she see me?
No she does not really see me
Cuz I’m hiding ‘neath the counter
And I’m thinking it’s okay
cuz I swear I’m on a roll
Only thirty thousand more words
It’s like I’m almost done
Now I’m jumping with my son
Did you see the way my arm moves?
Writer’s block it will continue through the morning as I’m listening for the voice of revelation…
I don’t hear it even now
And maybe now I hear it
But it’s telling me my book sucks
I look at the clock
It’s time to go to bed
Are you wondering how in the world I have such time to waste? Well, let me tell you, It's not easy, but I can waste time with the best of them. Give me an hour, and no matter how busy I am, I guarantee you I can waste it.
