Howdy y'all.
1. Just to clarify from Monday's post, I would never use "Death by comfy chair" as the way out of this world. Thank you for all of your virtual hugs.
In case you missed it in the comments, here is the link I provided to atone for the depressing post: (Viewer Discretion Advised)
2. Christmas Gifts that Suck and Blow
Sucks:
My sister got Kid C a rock tumbler. It turns ordinary rocks into precious gems. Cool, right?
I thought it would be a fun afternoon activity. So, Kid C and I put it together, throw the rocks in the barrel, and plug it in the wall.
Let me tell you, the tumbler, when it's on, is not a quiet thing. It does not purr. Imagine rocks inside a hard plastic barrel being tossed about. Cuz that's what it is.
Kid C asks me how long before we have jewels. He has to yell. I check the instructions.
"Step 2: Wait for at least 48 hours, with tumbler running. Maybe it will be ready. Maybe not."
48 Frakkin hours? Yeah, thanks, Erin.
Blows:
My mom's been known to come up with edible gifts that are fairly inedible. This year it was a bag of roasted Edamame with a smattering of Wasabi.
I put one on my tongue, and it burned a hole. Sam ate one, and promptly grew a second hair on his chest.
It's okay, my mom doesn't read my blog.
3. Since I missed a lot of people for my Christmas Card, here is a virtual copy:
4. End of the Year Stats
I thought it would be fun to take a look at the numbers of 2009 for me.
Total blog hits: 20,000
Average hits per month for Jan - Jun: 1,000
Average hits per month for Jun - Dec: 2,000
Followers on Jan. 1st: 12
Followers as of Dec. 30th: 105
Hits came from 91 Countries
Interesting Search Words that led to people actually reading my blog:
"Brodi Ashton Nitrous Dentist"
"Saggy Bladder"
"How to Look Like Farrah Fawcett"
"Brain Masala"
Number of blog posts: About 150
Non-Blog stats:
Number of times I quit Diet Coke: 3
Number of Diet Cokes I've had this morning: 3
Number of Children: 2
Number of Children potty-trained: 1.5
Number of Words Written for New Book: 65,000
Favorite Television shows of 2009:
Dexter
BSG
Lost
24
Modern Family
Bones
True Blood
House
Favorite Movies:
Zombieland
District 9
Star Trek
Days I've played tennis: 125
Times I ate at Melting Pot: 5
Favorite Books:
Catching Fire
The Dark Divine
If I Stay
Favorite pieces of Writing Advice:
Give yourself permission to write a crappy first draft.
Make sure your Main Character has a Concrete Object of Desire.
If you want to learn about description, ask Kim.
Happy New Year, y'all. Thanks for making my blog fun. We really are going to take over the world in 2010.
