Please Vote on our Barry Manilow Cover Band Name

It's Friday, yo. 

So, my crit partner and BFF Emily Wing Smith has a new book coming out called BACK WHEN YOU WERE EASIER TO LOVE. 

The story involves a girl, a breakup, a guy, a road trip, and Barry Manilow. (Description my own. It fails to convey the awesomeness of this story.)

Anywho, for the launch party, my critique group The SIX (very apt description, because we are all six feet tall) decided to form a Barry Manilow cover band. 

The band members.

The fact that none of us are very musical didn't enter into the decision-making process.

Emily herself will be on the bongos.

Bree Despain on the maracas.

Valynne Nagamatsu on the piano.

Sara Bolton and Kim Reid on backup vocals. (We don't know who they'll be backing up. We're just hoping one of us emerges as a star).

I will be on the key-tar. 

The severed hands are included.

Guess who's invited to the launch party?

You! Yes, you!

BACK WHEN YOU WERE EASIER TO LOVE RELEASE PARTY

Thursday, April 28
7:00 p.m
King’s English Bookshop
1511 South 1500 East,  Salt Lake City

Mark your calendars!

So, we are trying to decide on a band name, and here's where you come in. Please vote on your favorite, or if you have a suggestion, you can enter it in the comments. 

A. The Six Merry Manilows

B. Raindrops Keep Falling on my Dead (submitted by Douglas Cootey)

C. The Cuckoo Cabanas (submitted by Josh Berk)

D. Rico Wore a Diamond (submitted by Saundra Mitchell)

E. The Barely Manilows 

And if you suggest a title, and we choose it, we will dedicate a song to you. Thank you for playing!

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In Which a First Chapter Contest brings a new addition to our family... And Who Knew Flusher Instructions were Necessary?

Howdy.

I went to the LDS Storymakers conference last weekend. (Okay, I missed the second day of the conference, something that came back to bite me in the bum). 

1. The night before the conference, I got to meet a couple of blog readers in person- Susan from Arizona and Robin from Idaho (She's the one who made me the diet coke spreadsheet).

 

Susan and Robin

It's hard to see them behind our giant appetizers. Apparently we ordered deep fried bagels.

2. The next day, we rushed to Provo and made it just in time for Bree Despain's class on "Delving into the Paranormal." She did a great job, despite the rowdy group of hecklers on the front row. (Okay, that was us.)

3. Soccer games and tennis matches kept me from the conference on Saturday, but around 1:30 I got a bunch of texts and calls saying I'd won the grand prize for the first chapter contest. A new laptop!

They announced it in the giant ballroom at lunch time, and they're all, "The winner is... Brodi Ashton!"

Then they looked out into the audience, searching.

"Brodi Ashton?... Um, is Brodi here?"

Thankfully Valynne (#4 Crazy) stepped up to accept the prize. It worked out great, because we look so much alike. She's like my brother from another mother.

My Twin, Valynne

They started snapping pictures of Valynne with the laptop, and she's all, "But, I'm not Brodi."

To which they replied, "Then why are you trying to steal his computer? Why do you hate this 'Brodi' person? What did he ever do to you?"

But Valynne's a bouncer, so she just threw a few elbows and dashed out of there.

I have to say, I'm so excited about my new little computer. Look how small he looks next to Little Red (whom I have subsequently named "Big Red"):

I named him Snoop and I can't wait to tote him around. The only problem is, I have man-hands, so when I type on it I feel like Chris Farley's "fat guy in a little coat" bit.

4. Aside from little Snoop, the highlight of the weekend was the restroom. 

The flusher came with instructions. Up for #1. Down for #2. 

So apparently the toilet's all, "I gotta be honest with you. If it's #1, I'm not gonna give you 100%. I'm gonna swirl around a couple times, at the most. I'll mix it up. But that's it."

I've got a week of decisions ahead. What are y'all up to?

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The Dark Divine Launch Party and the Explanation of the Booby Jar

How was all y'all's New Years? Good?

Bree Despain's launch party was on Saturday at the King's English (indie bookstore in Salt Lake City).

She did a fabulous job, and I think she may have secured herself a place as #1 crazy in our writing group when she showed the crowd her revision process, involving roughly 465 color-coded tabs and highlights, each color representing a different aspect of writing. Seriously, we should vote now. (Added: Thanks to Melissa for the pic)

All in favor of Bree for #1 Crazy? Aye! (In the pic above, she's raising her hand too.)

Bree packed the house, and the bookstore sold out. I've never seen that happen.

Our writing group's official t-shirts came in.

 (Sara B. and Kim R., modeling the new shirts with Sarah W.)

I went into the back room of the bookstore to change, and when I finally squeezed myself in (using a shoe horn and a nearby oil slick), I realized what Valynne meant by "they run a little small".

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I could read the make and model of my bra.

So I put a v-neck black shirt over the t-shirt. But I still wanted to feel a part of my critique group, so I pulled down at the "v" and flashed everyone wherever possible.

Not only was it gratuitously tight, but I made it worse by looking like a flasher.

After I flashed Matt Kirby, he said, "Brodi, you have turned awkward moments into an art form."

(Matt Kirby and the non-awkward Sara Zarr)

Emily Wing Smith kept saying the shirts "amplify our ample racks" or something to that effect, which meant she owed a lot of quarters to the "Booby Jar". (Every time someone mentions boobies, or refers to them, that person must donate a quarter to the jar. To give you an idea of how much we talk about them, we're planning on the jar financing a group cruise.)

I met a lot of blog readers in person, so thank you to all of you who came!

Here are blog readers Mary and Alana with Emily Wing Smith.

Here are Ben Ballou, Cam Ballou, me (in my v-neck, in a rare moment of non-flashing) and Heather Zahn Gardner. Ben, Heather and I went to Junior High school together.

I also got to reunite with my class from the BYU writing conference over the summer. I felt like there were so many familiar faces, I sorta grew accustomed to introducing people, culminating in this moment:

me: "Elana, this is Kim. Have you two met?"

Elana: "Um, Brodi, Kim and I have been in the same critique group for years."

me: "Right. Sorry. Here, have you met Bree?"

Elana: "Years ago. In our critique group."

Nerts!

Finally, blog reader Robin (who lurrrves spreadsheets) sent me a custom made spreadsheet to document my Diet Coke intake in 2010. Isn't that nice? I was trying to explain it to my family, and I was all, "It's got like, a bunch of columns, and a bunch of rows, and I put in a number and it magically gives me another number. It's in a program called Ex-ell. Exx... celll... or something."

I told them I wanted to show it on the blog but I had no idea how. My bro-in-law D says, "Lemme guess. You took a picture with your iPhone."

How did he know?

Do you see the awesomeness that is the spreadsheet? Can you imagine the depression at the end of this year if I'm vigilant and record every diet coke?  The last column should read "percent chance that your skin will fall off due to over consumption".

How was everyone's New Year? Do your kids start school today like mine? Are you jumping for joy too?

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