Newt Status: Unfortunately Sam disregarded my hints about getting me a Mac Notebook for Christmas, so I'm going to have to take drastic measures. Anyone know a good hitman/computer-whacker?

Diet Coke Status: Half-Empty (It's almost New Year's Eve, what did you expect? Half-full?)

So how do you exhibit stress?

Me, personally, I wear my stress on my face. I grow a pimple-tastic zit beard, and a herpe-licious cold sore mustache.

And then, to add insult to ugliness, I have this horrible affliction: anything and everything is pickable, and should be picked. At night, when normal people would be reading a book to wind down, or watching television, I'm picking my face. Seriously, the way I've been digging at my face lately, I'm surprised there's even a chin left.

Here's my simple Christmas Stress Equation:
Christmas+Wrapping Presents-Food Bloat/pythagorean theorem x (Square root of 8,500 family parties) + Avagadro's number - number of unwritten pages of next book = zitbeard.

So, the best ointment for a zit beard is Joss Whedon. Any fans of Joss out there? (Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Firefly? Serenity?)

Joss and his buddies produced an internet phenomenon called "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." It's a sort of parody of superhero stories.

And this song below seriously had me blowing snot bubbles.

To set it up, the cheesy hero of the blog is "Captain Hammer", and he sings a song called "Everyone's a Hero" which is like saying no one's a hero. He's singing it at a ceremony commemorating the building of a new Homeless Shelter.

Seriously, an instant classic in our house. Watch it and let me know what you think. See if it helps your own personal zit-beards.

By the way, as I have done with previous ex-boyfriends, I was successful in making the Yuletide gay.