Princess for Hire Book Signing, My fish Keep Dying, and a really lame lunch discussion

Thing 1

Um... evil Chopester died. And then our snail, Quid, died. Apparently we're the only ones in the universe who can't keep "unkillable" fish alive.

I was ready to pack up the aquarium and call it a life, but then Sam came home from the pet store with another one. We cleaned out the tank of death really well, and we used more bleach than ever, so our new little bugger, Chopes, would feel at home. Please don't report us to PETA.

I'm trying not to get attached. Chopes will flare his gorgeous fins, and Sam will be all, "It's so beautiful!" and I'll be all, "Meh. Whatev's." and Sam's all, "Look at the fins...  they're like golden fiery spikes!"

Thing 2:

I went to Lindsey Leavitt's book signing for Princess for Hire. She did a great job- totally down to earth and delightful- and she had a great turnout.

(Catie, me, Lindsey, Valynne, Emily, Sarah- who's book comes out April 17th)

She read from her book, and she also made little goody bags with candy necklaces and little tiaras. Several little girls showed up in full princess regalia. (Did I use that word right? Regalia? It doesn't sound right, and the more I look at it, the wronger it sounds...) 

Afterward we went to the Dodo, where my mouth ran amok. As usual. This time the discussion started with the Chippendales vs. the Thunder from Down Under, and ended with me ranting about how the sexual orientation of strippers shouldn't shouldn't matter.

 

 vs.

My impassioned argument was strange for several reasons because:

1. I've never been to either show.

2. I have no plans to go to either show.

3. So why do I care that the Chippendales look more feminine than the Thunder from Down Unders?

4. I mean, no one was arguing with me, and yet...

5. I kept repeating myself.

4. And my voice kept getting louder and louder and the nice women who were brunching right behind us looked disgusted...

5. Because women who "brunch" as a verb shouldn't be exposed to such filth.

6. Yes, I just said "exposed" while talking about strippers, and I just giggled to myself in my kitchen

7. And it comes full circle- I need to grow up.

8. That's what she said.

How was y'all's weekend?

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Our Fish succombs to Evil, and Lindsey Leavitt's book signing: Come hang with me!

Today's crazy. I spent the morning at the salon, cheering on my stylist as she tried to fix my latest hair fryage disaster. Sorry so late. Longer letter later.

Thing 1:

Our fish, Chopie, died. 

(Chopie, in happier times)

Yesterday, Kid C walks past the tank with my sister, when he stops and says -- with instant tears in his eyes, "Chopie's dead."

me calling from the other room: "Don't be silly. Betta fish live for years. You have to work to kill them."

my sister: "Oh yeah, he's totally fine." But behind Kid C's back, she's looking at me and shaking her head, and mouthing the words He's totally not fine.

So I take a look. Chopie's upside down, floating in the center of the tank (not the top... who knew?) and his eyes are literally bugging out of his head.

I shoo Kid C out the door, and tell him everything will be okay. Then I call Sam and order him to grab another Chopie asap.

Sam comes home with this:

Most decidedly, this is not a Chopie lookalike. In fact, it's the opposite of Chopie. 

So, I did what any other mother would do when presented with a learning opportunity. At some point, every kid has to learn about life and death.

I told Kid C that Chopie had a rough day, glimpsed the afterlife, saw a light at the end of the tunnel, and decided against going toward it. Instead, Chopie turned to the dark side. 

He is now known as "Chopester", Chopie's evil alter-ego, much like Angel vs. Angelus.

 Don't worry. I told Kid C that someday, if Chopester works really hard, he just may earn his soul back and return to his original colors.

2. Wanna hang with me?

Tomorrow (Saturday), Lindsey Leavitt is signing books at The King's English at 2:00. I'll be there, as will most of my writer peeps. I met Lindsay in L.A. at the SCBWI conference, and she very much rocks.

Her book PRINCESS FOR HIRE looks fabulous and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy.

So, if you're available, come to the party and find me and say hello. 

Okay, back to the madness. Anyone else's husband turn into a completely different person during March Madness? Sam's coming home early today. He never comes home early. Methinks it hast something to do with 10 grown men trying to put a ball through a hoop.

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